I started drinking at the age of 13, just before starting high school, I was smoking weed and stuff around 12. I immediately fell in love with alcohol! I feel like when I went into high school, I attended a private school for my freshman year and it wasn’t near my house or my middle school, I didn’t have a lot of friends. My parents didn’t have much money, so I was mowing the school’s lawn to pay for my tuition, and I was different than the other kids. I got a lot of crap from other kids for my different style, so alcohol was a way to level the playing field, when I drank everyone liked me because I was always the funny guy trying to fit in. I found such comfort around the drug addicts and alcoholics compared to the sporty or smart kids. My parents always made sure I had what I needed but didn’t have anything above that to give me so I was mowing lawns to pay for my love for alcohol until I thought that selling drugs would be so much more profitable than mowing lawns. Once I thought of this I really pushed to go back to public school where there was more girls, drugs, and alcohol. But because I attended private school my freshman year, I was super advanced and didn’t have to focus or study school until really my senior year which gave me way too much free time to smoke dope, rob cars and drink excessively. I met my first love and her parents smoked weed and she was encouraging my lifestyle. By my junior year I was selling 5 or 6 pounds of weed a week out of my parents’ house, I luckily stopped weeks before the cops were ready to bust me. I only stopped because I bought a ton of acid and cocaine and instead of selling it my friend and I went on a binder that drove me to beg God to kill me, the drugs beat me into submission, and I prayed to God to let me not wake up. After sleeping for 3 days straight I woke up and didn’t touch hard drugs again for 7 years. College was super backwards, I stopped everything until I ran into my high school love during my last year of college. I quickly fell right back into my old habits, which was easy to do because everything single day for 4 years all I did was think of the day I could drink again. After that relationship fell apart, I just went from one relationship to another because I felt like how could I have a relationship with anyone when I was in active addiction, at that point I was drinking 1 liter a night by myself. I knew I had an issue I couldn’t hold down a job, my parents were worried about me, and I hated myself! I told myself daily I was worthless and a piece of shit, but my parents couldn’t afford to send me to rehab. I begged them all the time to help me and save me, but they just didn’t have the resources. I went to churches and local rehabs for what seemed daily begging them to help me, and the church really didn’t know how to help me. They offered to pray for me, but I couldn’t find help until I re-connected with my old drug dealer, DJ buddy love, who had become sober. I didn’t go to rehab for the 1sttime until I was 37 and I made it 6 days out of 6 weeks… and Eric, my old drug dealer, was the one that paid for me to go to rehab. He was not happy at all that I quit because he had to pay for the full stay even though I wasn’t there, but he never gave up on me, he called me every single day! Shortly after leaving rehab I fell off the wagon BAD, he called my dad and my dad showed up at my house and just sat with me. Sure my dad was disappointed in me but I remember my dad saying, whatever it takes man I will be here. My mom was much more the tough love person, she supported me but couldn’t help me during my drunken moments. This particular bender was different. I told my dad something was different, so he took me to the hospital where I suffered a seizure from the DT’s shortly after getting there. It happened to be on a Sunday that I was in the hospital so sure enough a lady came to visit me to bring me communion and I just fell apart begging for help. She sent in a priest by the name of Brian. I was so annoyed, but it turns out that Father Brian was a recovering addict of 18 years and he picked me up from the hospital and took me to my first AA meeting where I reconnected with Roger who happened to be the person who was signing my AA slips when I got in trouble with the law at 18. I stayed sober for 6 months but then I fell off the wagon again but instead of calling Father Brian, my sponsor I called Roger. I told Roger I fucked up, I went on a binder and I fucked up, he said “no you didn’t, you only fucked up if you think you fucked up”. He said it was a matter of perception and it was a learning lesson. So he came and picked me up and drug me to a meeting, even though I REALLY didn’t want to go! That was December 5th 2018, the last drink I ever had. I just have to keep doing what I’m doing and put one foot in front of the other! I have learned to quiet my mind because when you’re an addict all you think about is drinking and surrender and trust a higher power! It takes so much discipline to be dedicated to remaining spiritually connected, sobriety is just a biproduct for me. It took 2 years to love myself again! The 1st year is a mother fucker it’s the hardest thing I have ever done! I had to attend meetings every day and sometimes multiple meetings a day. They say it’s not that difficult you just have to change everything, and they are absolutely right! You have to transition the way you look at absolutely everything. When I quit drinking, I realized I had very few friends… My friend Jermaine was my saving grace, he was trying to get me sober 2 years before I became sober, my friend Eric who paid for my rehab, my friend Josh who was always willing to pick up the phone, I wouldn’t be here without these men. My biggest reward was my mom! I got to talk to my mom, sober.. I asked her how I could make things up to her and she said I was already doing it! My mom passed away 4 years after my sobriety, and she got to see that I was going to be okay! To be clear neither of my parents are or were addicts! I think I saw my mom drunk once and it was only because I was the bartender and she came to spend time with me. And my dad didn’t even have his own beer for my 21st birthday, he shared one with me. Now I see that there are only 2 things that are important, make decisions out of love and be of service to others! Thanks to sobriety I have built a successful company, I am able to be present for my niece, I like and love myself and I know I am a child of God, none of these things were possible during active addiction!