I did not realize I had a problem until I was 31 so I went from clubbing and partying and thinking that is what everyone does to realizing I had a problem, there was no in between for me. At 31 is when I started going to the liquor store finding it cheaper/quieter and soothing to be drinking by myself, that is how and when I began my journey with alcoholism and it got progressively worse every year. After sitting in meeting after meeting hearing people say they have went to several rehabs I remember thinking that wasn’t me. I went to my 1st rehab when I was 36 years old. My first rehab was 30 days, it was all holistic, they gave me all the tools while I was there and I never felt better in my life, but I only made it 3 weeks and then here we go again and the drinking got worse and worse to the point of my having DT’s and hallucinations but I was functioning somehow. It wasn’t until my Christian clients and my mom got together that I realized I needed help but in a different way, they found a Christian rehab home in Pasadena called the Walter Hoving home. I was not working, I was in foreclosure on my home all I was doing was drinking day and night, I was very sick and could barely walk. My mom bought me a plane ticket and my fiancé took me to the airport and walked me to the gate. I gave him the ring back and asked for the last money he had in his pocket so I could drink on the plane. I let the stewardess know right off the bat that I was going to rehab and would she please just serve me what I ask on the plane and I wouldn’t be irruptive or out of line or cause a scene I just needed to drink for the last time, so I thought. She was an Angel, she served me every bit of vodka that I had the money for. When we got to CA she held my hand and made sure I got to the people who were there to get me, she was truly a blessing and an Angel from God. When I got to the home this was a 6 months - 1 year program, if you leave at 6 months you do not get your certificate of completion. I started with 6 months but within a couple months I chose to stay the full 12 months. After 4 months they needed 4 of us women to go to the Las Vegas location and I was one of the girls who didn’t have a court order requiring me to stay in Pasadena. One day we were doing chores I was doing dishes a glass broke and I almost severed my thumb, I was rushed to the ER and they gave me a shot of morphine and provided me with pills to take home without asking me any questions, unfortunately I was driven by one of the girls not the staff and that was the problem. The minute we walked out of the hospital we took the pills, she was a narcotic addict. That night when we got back to the house we got a cab and we found a casino that was $30 a night and began our next party journey. We met with a gentleman at the casino that gave us alcohol and drugs and after finishing the alcohol and drugs we needed a way to get back home, she was in UT and I was in Denver. I called my friend Steve and he rented a van and came and got us. I was passed out the entire ride and she was a chatty Cathy because she was high as hell. I just remember coming too at the hotel and she and another gentlemen were cutting up pills and snorting them. I drank another bottle of vodka and passed back out. When I got home to my house in foreclosure I just came home and drank until the Pasadena home was trying to contract me to come back. There was no way in Hell I wanted to go back to that, I thought I am home! I didn’t want to do it but because THE seed was planted and God was in my heart, God was calling me to go home to Pasadena so I got on the plane and went back. I was again welcomed with open arms, tears and joy from the staff. I made it another 6 months and again Steve jumped on a plane and rented a car to come get me and again I started drinking the day I got out. We went to a Mexican restaurant where I ordered 4 top shelf margaritas and proceeded to pass out in the car until we got to the hotel. We stayed an extra week and “vacationed” it was a nightmare for me. When we got home I asked God “why” I thought I had done everything I thought I was supposed to do! I left the state and my friends but my “friends” who were not actually my friends they were my drinking buddies. I continued to drink but there was something in me that stopped me from drinking as much as I used to drink and I never got angry at God, he was my solution and reason for finding sobriety. I lived with my friend Steve for 1 1/2 years on his living room floor, was going to church every Sunday regardless if I was drunk or hung over, the service was called 52 days of favor, if you gave $52 addictions were going to be healed, hearts were going to be mended. I didn’t have .52 yet alone $52, I asked my friend Steve to go to his car and get my checkbook, I wrote a bad check for $52. I went to the alter, dropped to my knees and I surrendered. I told God I can’t do this anymore and I gave it to God and begged him to help me. At that moment it was 100% deliverance and I have never had a drink since. I will be 13 year sober coming up on August 7th and there is no other way to put it other than how thankful I am to God.